Bored. I tend to find myself blurbing here to replace the last blurby thing/mess, none the less the lunch yesterday went very well. An odd thing is that when I was hanging out with Julianne, David passed us while we were entering bases, and passed us again while we were exiting base; when I was with Aleena, Abdul passed by us while we were walking down Farmington to grab some icecream; then yesterday, while I was having lunch with an ex-coach, another ex-coach happened to pass by as well.

He suspects that perhaps I'm a magnet. Lol.

I plan to visit their practice on Friday, other than that today my friend's supposed to come over, and we're going to cut some shirts, then hit the gym.

Nothing artsy going on, just reading. Wanted to die inside while reading Breaking Dawn only because most of the time the dialogue is SOOO CUTESY I just want to hurt myself. But, my stubborness at this point won't let me stop until I finish. Also found a book in my house the teaches how to read music. I'm pretty illiterate when it comes to that, so it's entertaining me.

Also, I did hang out with a friend after that lunch. Upon seating myself in her car, I noticed her copy of "Unmasked" on the seat, and it reminded me of my own copy for the Count of Monte Cristo. Since she didn't want to read it anymore, I asked if I would be able to borrow it, since even though I've only recently gotten a hold of mine from my Sac box at my grandmother's, I still didn't think I was "strong enough" to ever open mine again. None the less it was overdue so we swung by the library and I turned it in for her.

Long story short, after reading a music lesson, then an excrusiating portion of Breaking Dawn, I knew I had to top it off with something great- sexy. And I did grab and open my copy of Master for the first time. As usual, as I have done since the few times that I ever did read it, I would open up a random page and just begin to read the nearest sex scene.

What scene did I find? I like to start a good two pages before anythings starts "heating up", and it took me until then to realize it was the bathtub scene. My. Golly.

I think I've come to a realization that I'm not going to get my art back for quite some time... Even though the first time they were given back to me, I was surprised, I knew there was a part of me beforehand that was wanting them back. However, this is not the case. I now want them back once more and still, I feel like they're being kept hostage.

I don't feel like getting into the intricate details of how/why, none the less I felt like bitching. Lol.

School will start in a couple weeks; I know I'm more anxious than I am excited. With how 80% of my semesters tend to turn out I can't help but be scared that this will be no different. However due to a change in plan, I know this last real semester is going to be filled with a lot of bitching and frustration, but I know I have to do this so much for myself... I know this is going to be really difficult, at least for me since I'm no natural with discipline, but if I keep myself focused I know things can happen.

Honestly, I would trade my athletic enthusiasm/discipline for an academic one. Unfortanely I have to trick myself in school to match the ways I motive/get excited about playing sports or being active.

Umm.... other than that, I need to get off so I can get through teh house duty-ings before I go out to lunch. I'm meeting with an old mentor that I used to describe as an utter monstrosity, but things change and I'm look forward to letting him know how life has changed, at my own discretion, and how excited I am for my future...

I think that's it- my possible future, that pulls me to get through the really frusting ones... aka school... my poor head's already getting agitated just thinking about it.

None the less- this is for everyone- know what you want and surround yourself with that vision, literally, and it makes it more of a task to stray. (A success my first sem of college... not my second. Lol.)

Ask yourself what your goal is. Ask yourself what's stopping you, and what you can do to deplete it. And do it, or deal with it.

In ten years I hope to see you as the success you were meant to be.

Everyone must see this guy's page: [link]

I'd don't like getting into random tangents when I'm blurbing here, but sometimes there are things I'd like to get off my chest. Whatever vent I have at the given moment usually suffers the repercussions.

But first, as for art, I've only worked on a little project for a yoga course I just finished. My professor like it so much she asked if she could keep it. Unfortunately I'm too lazy to upload the shots I took of its front and back, but here's a random screenshot from utter boredom. [link] I took this to show my cousins and sister my randomness. It was also the first time I've been to the library and used my Toshiba in months... it still kind of annoys me, its lagginess. I'm probably going to regret not using an extra 10 minutes + effort to upload the shots that were supposed to be for dA, but whatever. I'll do it later.

As for the random blurb I was getting to, I'm starting to accept that there are moments that I am very aware of my surroundings. It's starting to get to a point where I have questions, and in flows throughout the day and week, an answer will keep coming to me giving the same "theme/message". Most of the time, they are things I don't want to hear, but I'm starting to realize that whether or not I ignore it, it'll only keep coming back. It's the time that I go, "OK, I (EFFING) GET IT..." that the same "message" stops, and a new one starts showing up.

So, last week I noticed a lot of things about Grace. This week was about how I had to let go. I have to let go, things are changing, there was an end, but there is also a beginning. I could get scary when it comes to specifics. But in a fashion, though I've accepted to let go.... one other thing was told to me, as far as an instruction I wanted to name coincidence, that I think I wll start to listen to:

In the very end of each yoga class, we lay on our backs for a few minutes, close our eyes, and relax. Once in a while, my professor will say a few quotes; simple, meditative stuff, or nothing. Sometimes she'll just spray a soft scent around us, or go around and press on our shoulders individually for a few seconds.

During the last two "shavasanas," she read a forward she received in an e-mail that morning. I'm a little frustrated that even though I had the time to copy key words from it, I couldn't find it online (I'll probably e-mail her to ask if she could forward it.) None the less it talked about endings, and a new beginning, cherishing the good a bad that happens, and... scrapbooks.

Scrapbooks? OK. I personally thought it was random, but I tried to make sense of it. She wanted us to think of a scrapbook of our journey, and to hold it in our hearts.

If she KNEW how much work it takes to develop even a page of a scrapbook... she'd know that doing that impromptu in our heads like that isn't easy to do, especially if you already have made one before... so naturally, I thought of one I made half a year ago.

Left that morning make-up class a little shaken. Even though it was a coincidence, I knew it meant something to me.

The next day she read the same thing during our rest period, (something she has never done), adding her own bits about looking at the first page, and turning it. Thinking of that scrapbook page-by-page is not something I've ever done since I gave it away... but I did, and I remembered every inch, even the wieght and sound each one made with each turn.

And lastly, after that whole bit about thinking of our journey, cherishing the good and bad times, scrapbooks, she again said to hold the book in our hearts.

I think that's exactly what I'll do...

Though I have decided to really let go... that does not mean I will not walk around holding something dear in my heart.
That does not mean that I will not wish the person I gave it to every happiness.


Funny how things can be broken, destroyed... changed, attemptively or successfully replaced, and yet it only put me to a place where I hold on to the two things that matter the most: What I've just mentioned previously, and this very ring on my hand that I've only started to wear again a few days ago. I woke up this morning finding it off my finger, which I don't remember doing, and yet when I tried to store it away again, it didn't feel right... it didn't feel right being displayed anywhere but here.

Do I fail at letting go? I don't think so. I can only know so because before this very moment, I was moving and going nowhere. Right now, I feel like I'm going somewhere.

Above.

Brought back a box of things I forgot at my grandmother's place, in it was an art piece I've been looking for: "River Avon."
Unfortunately, my "Favorite Things" sketch is still missing.

"Music & Booze" [link] will be given as a gift to a dear friend of mine. Coincidently, we had some Tequila/Jose Quervo at our side during the catch up time; I played saxophone in high school, and she played the flute. I told her I had a surprise for her and I haven't given it just yet, but I know she'll really like it. My only regret is that there aren't any colors because then it would match her room better.

I'm on a current mission to get some of my art pieces back... the night I had them returned to me, someone I was hooking up with showed up that night, and demanded to keep them. I insisted that I wanted to give a piece each to my other friends, but he was a little reluctant... it was cute. But I don't think we'll be having anything serious, and we haven't been talking. I'd like to take them back the next chance I get. That will probably be my last time hang out with him.

Other than that... nothing artsy is really going on. I started reading a book my ex gave me, as well as a book I bought a few months ago, to try to give my eyes some exercize/keep my brain active... distract myself? My grandmother gave me a homework assignment and that was to read Genesis in the Bible. She's so cute.... I used to read a colloquial version of the Bible very frequently when I was younger, and I do do my best to read a few proverbs when I'm bored. She knows I'd rather go into Matthew and the life of Christ already, but she said I might as well start in the beginning.

(Wow... I can't believe I'm hearing this right now:

Sexpert: This is the volva. It's not the vagina.
Oprah: Don't you thing vajay-jay sounds better?
Sexpert: It does. But I encourage people to use the real term.) Lol.

Thanks to this episode of Oprah, I can locate the g-spot. Lol. Oprah looks super uncomfortable right now.
(Sexpert: It feels like the tip of our nose.
Oprah: *touches tip of her nose suspiciously*)

Alright, I digress... but that's pretty much it. Lol. Poor Oprah.